gacktpause

July 4th, 2010.

“In April ’10 I celebrated my first complete year of blogging here on WordPress. It’s fascinating to be able to look back at posts I wrote one year ago and compare them to what I’m writing now, to see how I’ve changed as a person reflected in how my blog has changed over the past 15 months. Yeah. I don’t know what I’m writing about here– me, or GACKT, I don’t know yet. I don’t even bother separating them out anymore, somehow whenever I talk about anything to do with myself personally it comes back to GACKT in some way or another.

Back when I was younger, before GACKT or Jrock or Visual Kei– or even before anything to do with Japan–, I had this clear idea of who I was and what I was going to be (I wanted to be a novelist); it was like I had this big highway stretching out in front of me and I never even considered turning onto an exit ramp. There was never even any need for me to think about it, because I just knew.

A lot of people ask me how I became interested in Japan, and the answer is, the music. When they ask me how I started listening to the music, though, I don’t have an answer. It was as though suddenly one day I was listening to this streaming online radio called kawaii-radio, where I heard Vanilla, and then somehow GACKT’s The Sixth Day came into my hands. And when that happened, it was a complete flip of the above mentioned situation. The highway didn’t matter anymore and all there was was an exit ramp, and I was taking it at 180MPH.

I’ve been blogging for almost 3 years now, but in reality, this past year (since my move to WordPress from Vox in April ’09) has been the most intense. As a fan, and blogger, I followed GACKT more closely than I ever had before. I went to my first Jrock shows, I went to Japan, I listened to so much music, and to be honest, I think I finally became serious about Visual Kei. I remember as recently as November [2009], attending the abingdon boys school live show, it was like I committed myself to it more than ever before. As if there was still a barrier preventing me from truly living all of this. As recently as last Saturday (6/26/10)  driving home from [having seen MIYAVI in Boston], I realized that one of the things I took away from that show was the knowledge that seeing MIYAVI had broken down even more of that barrier, committed myself way more– that I now know perfectly well that this is it. Sitting here, right now, listening to Kimi ga Oikaketa Yume from The Seventh Night, I realize that all of the pristine faces taped to my walls, the stacks of CDs piled on top of CD racks, the bass guitar, this blog that I’m writing, this life that I’m leading at this point in time, it’s all, every last bit of it, thanks to one person.”

That person is GACKT.